Remembering The Crocodile Hunter

Never thought Steve Irwin would be barbed to death by a sting ray. Croc hors d’oeurvre? Sure. Actor Sharon Stone’s guy got chomped on by a Komodo dragon, so that was a possibility. Big-ass pissed-off anaconda (on a plane)? Maybe. Shark? Well, okay. He didn’t play with sharks much, though, right?

But…buh…whuh…?

A sting ray? The little rubbery guys that swim around and around at Sea World down in Florida? They look sort of like grey washcloths with tails? Right. I’ve touched those things. They can’t be the same species that did in the Croc Hunter. Right?

How bizarre.

Dubya almost chokes to death on a pretzel and lives, the Croc Hunter is taken out by a amphibious pot holder and dies. You know he was aware that sting rays had a pointy end. It’s just depressing. It’s not like he was a Darwin Award nominee doing something stupid around wild animals, like, say, covering a child’s hand in honey so a wild grizzly bear will lick it for an Oh So KAH-YOOT!!!! picture. (Hand up if you got called “Stumpy” in high school!)

That’s just not right. Too bad Death isn’t like Terry Pratchett’s Discworld-dwelling DEATH, who might be amenable to a less stupid cause of death in exchange for a funnier one. I’m just saying, he could be reasoned with.

“YOU’RE RIGHT, A STING RAY IS NOT FUNNY ENOUGH. HOW ABOUT IF HE GETS BONKED ON THE HEAD WITH A BRASS CROCODILE BY AN IRATE DWARF OR SOMETHING?”

Right on, DEATH, that would be displaying a proper ironic twist.

“I’M VERY GOOD AT WHAT I DO, YOU KNOW.”

The day Irwin died, “Crikey” was, apparently, the obligatory headline for all 4,000 people I interact with online on a daily basis, all of whom had something to say about Steve Irwin’s death. I am not kidding.

There was a person who said it was sad that the children would ‘only’ have their dad around on video…um…I wish I had something more than three or four short, muffled, background comments being made by my (late) dad left hanging around on something better than a corroding cassette tape from the mid-1970s and FIVE blurry or black and white photos, total. That’s it. Of course, I have always looked just like him…except I’m not a bald guy. 🙂 I feel bad for Irwin’s kids and widow, but I think that as far as memories go, they at the very least got very lucky that their dad was filmed for a living.

And his daughter? Couldn’t be cuter. She reminds me of my nieces.

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