Attack Of The Killer Mushrooms

One day I will learn not to grocery shop when I am in a big hurry. It should be a shopping rule like “don’t grocery shop on an empty stomach” and “don’t grocery shop while mentally impaired by pharmaceuticals or chemicals”.

If you shop on an empty stomach, EVERYTHING looks soooooo good. But you end up with a cart full of “rip it open, eat it immediately” foods, which are rarely healthy foods. (Except, perhaps, a banana.) These foods have the highest calorie content and lowest nutritional value imaginable. And then you’ve spent all your food money on HoHos and Pringles. Bad idea.

The “don’t shop while impaired” philosophy is similar. If you’re high or drunk, I’m assuming that your ability to plan a week full of delicious, well-balanced meals is impaired. Again, beware the HoHos.

The “in a hurry” rule caught me recently. I buy a fair amount of “healthy” frozen entrees because I am lazy and a terrible cook. So I occasionally stock up on Lean Cuisine pizzas.

I got home and threw everything into the freezer and reached for what I thought was a Spinach Alfredo “pizza for one” and…AIGH! My pizza had FUNGUS on it. Disgusting. It was a Spinach and MUSHROOM pizza. Ew. I loathe mushrooms.

Know what? You can’t pick frozen mushrooms off a frozen pizza. So I had to heat it up just enough to pick out the fungus bits, and about 50% of the topping was fungus! Ew! And that was still long enough for mushroom taint to seep into my spinach pie. So sad.

I have learned a lesson.

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