Frankenlolcatz and Fake Fone Friends

Make your own Lolcatz Cat Macros the Lazy Wanker way: LolCat Builder.

Pros: No catz or Photoshop needed. Funny lazy people can now Haz More Caturdaze.

Brilliant!

Cons: Expect a sharp drop in lulz-worthy offerings in the future as unfunny lazy people make lolcats.

Lolcat iz displeased.

In other technology news, you can now schedule a mobile phone call. Why would you want to do that? Well, what if you’re on a blind date, and want to have a “no hard feelings” way to go home early if necessary? What if you’re feeling lonely and unpopular because all your friends get calls all the time? (Hopefully you aren’t that sad.)

Well, now there’s the The Popularity Dialer!

“With “The Popularity Dialer”, you can plan ahead. Via a web interface, you can choose to have your phone called at a particular time (or several times). At the elected time, your phone will be dialed and you will hear a prerecorded message that’s one half of a conversation. Thus, you will be prompted to have a fake conversation and will easily fool those around you.”

Choose from several different calls: the standard popularity call, the female popularity call, the affirmation call, the “return to the office” call, the “cousin in need” call, the new!  “band practice” call and the new! ” male english lover” call.

If you have the opposite problem, too many phone calls from too many would-be beaus because you just can’t stop giving out your number to losers in bars, there’s the good ol’ Rejection Hotline service.

“Why Does The Rejection Hotline Exist?

The dating scene is full of people who can’t take a hint or can’t take “no” for an answer (and many who apparently can’t take showers, can’t brush their teeth, or can’t seem to go out in social settings without awkwardly embarrassing themselves).

Anyway, the Rejection Hotline exists as a simple alternative to uncomfortable situations and it is a public service to both the rejector and to the rejectee.

The rejector has an easy way to get rid of unwanted suitors, to express a lack of interest in a non-confrontational manner, and to gracefully escape an uncomfortable situation.

The rejectee , on the other hand, is able to hear the bad news in the privacy of his/her own home without being subjected to public embarrassment and/or ridicule from anyone who otherwise might have witnessed a more public rejection. Further, there are no unanswered “what if’s,” no desperate assumptions of “I must have just mis-dialed,” and no ambiguity – all of which are common by-products of the *randomly selected fake numbers which were more common before the advent of the Rejection Hotline.

* Note: Randomly selected fake numbers also disturb innocent people – like little old ladies, pizza delivery shops, and any household unfortunate enough to have Jenny’s 867-5309 as their number. Yep, we’d like to think we’re helping them too.”
And now you have the power! the power of social engineering! the power to run up your own mobile phone bill! the power to ward off scary, stinky people with a real number that isn’t yours! (They even have business cards, man.)

Use your new powers wisely.

 

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